Reverb 10: Day 15 - 5 Minutes

December 15 – 5 Minutes.
Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)

- Grandma (unlikely I would really ever forget her) and her funeral. I'm glad she's finally at rest and the best thing about funerals is that they really are family reunions. There was a lot of laughter and fond stories, and I learned so much about what a community organizer my grandmother truly was. So dynamic and remarkable and I'm damn lucky and humble to be a part of her legacy.

- First cruise and the powwow I had with many of the superstars of Black romance. That I was able to sit at that table was truly an awesome experience.

- My Lent Project. I must remember this because to forget would be perilous.

- The Harvard Reunions--Kuumba and 5th Class. I needed that reminder of how not everything about my Harvard experience was horrendous.

- My lit agent! I was approached by my agent, not the other way around; and the fact this happened right as my grandmother was leaving this earth tells me it was my grandma's way of making sure her babies were still being taken care of even though she was gone; especially since my sister was offered a full ride to her graduate school as well.

- Ruthy. She unlocked so many hidden pieces of my mind and spirit and she never had a problem calling me beautiful. She's the truly beautiful one. RiP, Ruthy.

Reverb 10: Days 12 - 13

December 12 – Body Integration.

This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (Author: Patrick Reynolds)

It was actually while my grandmother was in the hospital. We were alone, no doctors, the other family and friends were gone for this period. I just sat with her, held her hand, and sang to her. I just allowed myself to be in the moment with her and she was in and out, but I know she heard me. It was a peaceful feeling. Hopefully, I can get that back without death being present in the room.

December 13 – Action.

When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)

My next step is to do better about manuscript submissions. I let that slack off this year but I need to get back on that. As much as I like where I've gone and what I've done self-publishing, I have a bigger audience in mind for my work and I'll need help getting my work out there. So, more traditional publishers it is.

Reverb10: Days 1 - 6

My friend Nuri hipped me to this and I decided I would do it, and do I decided it would be a good way to avoid any more accidental hiatuses, at least for this month! I'm almost a week behind, but that's all right. I'll try to catch up in this post days 1 - 6 and then dedicate one post to the rest of the prompts.

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December 1 - One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
(Author: Gwen Bell)

Challenging. This year has been among the most challenging I've ever had. I have lost several people near and dear to me, including my grandmother on Mother's Day when I wasn't there, and a friend of mine who'd been instrumental to my growth as a writer and as a person. I've also decided to give up low self-esteem during Lent and for onward, and that is still a work in progress to completely own my awesome. Professionally, it was the dealing with uncertainty that is a constant challenge, even when they include the highs of releasing a new short story, gaining a literary agent, and more exposure and encouragement from fellow writers. On the other hand, the lows of dealing with negative reviews for a work that is very close to my heart, not being prolific in promotion and releasing more work as I would like; and even attempting a new style/genre of writing. However, all of those challenges that I've faced this year have hopefully prepared me for next year and the word I would truly like for it to be.

Fulfilling.

December 2 - Writing.
What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
(Author: Leo Babauta)

I play Cafe World on Facebook every morning, and that certainly has nothing to do with writing! And I can eliminate it; I probably won't, though, as it's become part of my daily routine! And also, in a way, it my daily nod to the friend I'd lost, since I'd joined the game strictly for her in the first place!

December 3 – Moment.
Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

The first (of two) car accident I was in this year; I'd just pulled out of the ATM behind a rather large SUV. I looked down in my lap at my wallet that was still open and then looked up. The SUV's taillights weren't on, so I thought that meant we were moving...until I realized the SUV was not in fact, moving. I smashed up the front of the car really well, and I began shaking so badly, especially when a very irate driver came out the car berating me about talking on my cell phone (I was not) and asking me if I knew there was a pregnant woman in the car (I obviously did not). This bank run that was supposed to have taken 10 minutes tops ended up being over an hour, but what I took away most was "God Is Good", because no one was hurt, everyone walked away, and everyone, other than the irate driver, was nice enough to ask if I were all right as the SUV had several passengers and I was by myself. It was also the conversation I remember something wasn't right with my grandmother, because she didn't get all hyper with worry. She was very calm and measured; not that my grandmother was prone to hysterics, but her tone was a lot calmer than I'd expected, almost resigned. That conversation was a month and a week before she passed.

December 4 – Wonder.
How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

The wonder in my life is realizing how things work out even if I think they are bleak; how things may not come how or when you want them, but exactly how and when you need them; and seeing how the consequences of past decisions pan out and being amazed at the what the results of trusting the instincts yield.

December 5 – Let Go.
What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

Low self-esteem, because it's a cancer. It's not completely eradicated yet, but I'm much further along now than I was at the beginning of 2010.

December 6 – Make.
What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

The last thing I made was a mess; the materials I used were papers and clothes on the floor of my apartment--complete with opened shipping boxes and suitcases all over my living area. And the thing I would like to make is not a mess, and that would require an eternity of free time...or at least the holiday break, perhaps.

Making Moves

So, it's close to 1:30 in the morning and while I'm not wide awake, I'm definitely awake enough to type this. It doesn't help it's kind of hot in my apartment right now, which that, and the fact I left my pot roast and sweet potato souffle on the stove because I really conked out around 9 this evening (but didn't go to sleep; that process took an entire hour, but I was definitely willing it with all my might), woke me up around midnight, I'm also just anxious. My book sales have been trickling, but luckily I can still say I'm selling books even though it's really been over a year since I released anything brand new. In that year has been a period of adjustment--new job, making more networking contacts in the publishing industry, losing my grandmother, car accidents (yes, that's plural), and the fact I'm essentially a secretary at my day job with no benefits and not the kind of security that makes my family happy. I really like what I do there, but the type of job it is really is in the distinction--temporary. I knew that when I applied and when I accepted it, but my coworkers are so supportive and they're really good. I can say I've been lucky to have worked in two different places where the people I'm with support each other and encourage each other. I can admit fear to losing that should I move on, but I do have to consider that now, especially when my authoring/editing income has been a little lean. This isn't to say I haven't been writing; while I wouldn't say I've been writing like a fiend, I've finished a novel and two short stories this spring/summer, not to mention the other work that's already done that needs somewhere to go.

Oh, and I have an epublishing agent as well. If I didn't mention that before, I definitely am now. That was a big scary step to get that agent because I've been doing it by myself for so long (and I could make that analogy extend to my lack of a love life, but I may just give that to a character. Heh.), but I knew it was necessary. It's okay to have help along the way, and my Lent project has helped me not only accept it when offered, but seek it out. Except, I didn't seek out this agent, she sought me out, and I liked what she had to say, so I'm excited and realistically hopeful. I'm also going to be part of the Capital BookFest Charleston in November. Peep the appearance list. Yes...y'all think I can multitask being an author and a fan?

I also format books for Beautiful Trouble Publishing, and I've been asked to write something for them. Hopefully, y'all will like it. It's a historical short story (actually closer to a novella) featuring an ex-slave who is reunited with the Confederate soldier who helped her and her brothers escape a Confederate camp during the Civil War. As soon as I let you know how I managed to keep that short I'll tell you!

Okay, the A/C cut on and off, so maybe it's a bit cooler for me to attempt sleep. But if you're up also reading this blog, I have some other things you can read that actually feature plot. And happy endings. Those are awesome, yes.

It's February?!

And I'm so behind with my life in general. What I have been doing, however, is writing commission fiction for people donating to Haiti Relief Efforts, which has shifted me back a bit. That's a good cause and I'm glad to be doing it. Also, I've signed myself up to attend the Savannah Book Festival on tomorrow, and I feel slightly unprepared, but that's not a new feeling. I need to do better, though. And it's Super Bowl weekend. I'm conflicted because I like the Colts and don't dislike the Saints, but slight edge goes to the Colts for me. Either way, though, I won't be sad about who wins this year so I reckon that's okay.

I see the end for the Reconstructing Jada Channing sequel, aka, Coming Home. However, I don't want to write it. I'm avoiding it because it's not going to be pleasant or pretty and I think my characters talk too dang much! I've also sat on a submission request, I think, for too long, which is either my fear standing in the way or my impatience with how long the entire process will take. If I'm honest, I know it's more of the the former than the latter. I should be used to rejection; that's generally all I get. Yet in this case, it's really a matter of will it genuinely fit with this particular publisher? I'm unsure, but I reckon I should let them tell me no, right?

Oh, this game, this game. It would probably go much smoother if an agent actually liked me, but alas.

Finally met Kwame Alexander. Good people! Did I mention I really like working where I do? Because I do. My boss told him about me and I'm excited about the Capital BookFest coming to Charleston. If y'all don't know about Charleston, y'all about to!

Also, had a meeting with Dianne Johnson a few weeks ago. She's good people too! I really appreciated her taking the time out to talk to me (even got me to start seriously considering young adult genre...again). Apparently she knows my people quite well so that was a bit surreal! Nevertheless, connections are good. I have to remember that because being a writer makes it too easy to be in isolation, at least for me, anyway. I have to constantly remind myself there are people who want me to do well and succeed and are willing to help me do so. I can do bad all by myself to be sure; but everyone has help to do good.

Okay, so, hopefully I'll see some of you tomorrow. And then, hopefully, y'all will see a new release from me before the year ends!

Publishing and the Privileging of White Expression

As a primarily self-published author, I take on a lot of the responsibilities of a more mainstream publishing conglomerate. I have to, obviously, do my own writing; do my own editing (with some pitfalls, admittedly, because I cannot catch everything myself despite my best efforts); my own book covers; my own book pricing; and, most importantly, my own promotion. The actual formation of the book is the easy part, funnily enough; the promoting my book is a smidge harder. There’s the belief self-published books are by authors who “can’t hack it” or aren’t good/talented enough, so they’re immediately regarded as, if not outright trash, “less than” those who could get through those “pearly” mainstream publishing gates. Let it be known that yes, I would love to have the same reach as books with mainstream publishers can achieve, but I don’t necessarily need the mainstream publisher to go with it. If not for the other perks I could get by being a more mainstream-published author (access to more distribution channels, access to writing associations that provide healthcare), I’d consider that route as less than a necessity and more of a “do it if you want.” Then again, I am probably already there more than I realize. I like the freedom I have from total control over my product, even if that means I shoulder all the responsibility, and I’m a little frustrated I can’t get my product into as many hands as I would like or people dismiss it solely because I put it out myself and not because they disliked the story. And then I realized people would be dismissing it even if it were in every Barnes and Noble and Borders and Books-a-Million this country had to offer.

I’m a black author who writes about black women; and not only that, many of these black women 1.) don’t hate the fact they’re black, 2.) are involved with nonblack men, 3.) don’t hate black men.

And, of course, the only people who care to read about black women are other black women, obviously; and since only about five black women in the whole country read (if you go by mainstream publishers’ insinuations), then why put any money behind those stories, anyway? If you’re not writing something that’s salacious, overly heavy and deep ala Toni Morrison, or minimizes the “Negro Factor”, then your book will not enjoy the same amount of support as your white counterparts. Not only that, if a white author can write a similar story, his/her account will be “more authentic” than yours, because stories by white authors, no matter what the color of the characters, are always more universal than stories by Authors of Color (AoC), no matter what color the characters (and goodness help the AoC who writes about white characters)…especially if these stories are love stories.

Which are what I write.

When my first book came out, I was on a plane returning to Boston after having my very first book signing in my hometown. I was sitting beside a very happy white man (he’d been imbibing a bit), but he was chatty and friendly, and I told him I was an author. Never mind that being the first time I ever uttered those words out loud and actually meant them, but his eyes had perked up and he asked to see the book. I gave him the only copy I had on me, knowing I would get it back. He flipped through to the middle and began to read. After a few moments, he then pulled out a fifty, gave to me, and demanded I autograph “his” book. And then for the rest of the plane ride we started talking about race relations and how things have changed or haven’t, and it wasn’t those conversations where he was “challenging the authenticity of my experiences”, but an honest-to-goodness dialogue. It was the first time I realized my stories really could be universal, because I can admit this white man’s face was not among the ones I saw in the audience for whom I’d been writing. By this point, my novel had been rejected several times, one letter even going so far as to say I mentioned race too much, even though the potential agent knew the story was about a black girl and white boy who were former childhood friends reunited on a newly integrated college in 1960s Georgia.

Good luck trying to avoid mentioning race often in that story!

But it wasn’t just the white man who surprised me. It was the white women who’ve e-mailed me and said how much they just loved this book and asked to put it in their libraries; it was my white teachers from high school in South Carolina who just looked at me in amazement and couldn’t stop raving about this story. It was the black men at the book fairs who would talk me to death about the book and its relevant themes while holding it in a ninja grip. It was the black boys who saw their mama/sister/aunt in Coralee and really liked the book. It’s the white boy who, after hearing discussions about it, said he was going to buy it because the story sounded interesting.

Thank goodness I’d started self-publishing, or else I doubt I would’ve gotten to see all of this for myself. I would’ve been shuttled off into the “black sections of the bookstores”, the sections that are as far from the entrance and tucked around a corner so that nobody but those who know what they’re looking for will ever find it. I actually talked to someone from Borders Corporate about that, and she…couldn’t give me an answer. Not that it surprised me. There are arguments for and against having an African-American section and having books integrated into the bookstore as a whole. But the convenience of the section aside, I, as an author, don’t want my books separated like that. It’s like a big ole “blacks only” sign that apparently doubles as a force field to prevent those who don’t meet the melanin threshold barrier from entering the section or something. I don’t think I’ve ever in my life seen a white person come to that section whenever I’ve gone into bookstores unless they’re getting Zora Neale Hurston or Richard Wright for their kids’ English classes. And then this whole business about being “tricked” into reading black books because the cover wasn’t clear? I know all books I see have at least dust-jacket or back-cover blurbs, and if the blurb was good enough to pull you in…I don’t understand why the actual color of the characters can make a reader flip the script. Was it because these white readers really could relate to stories about black characters—especially romances? Did you know black women liked to be held tenderly? That black women liked to be courted and wooed? That black women do have jobs other than wearing a polyester uniform and taking someone’s order? That black men really do run companies they created from the ground up and then don’t run after the first white/nonblack woman they meet once they’ve made it? That black men still are attracted love black women? That black people can have healthy, loving relationships? That white/Asian/Native/Hispanic men of all races can be attracted to love a black woman without fetishizing her? That this same premise applies when the couples are same sex as well?

But there are some major “politics of respectability” going on in “black imprints” for mainstream publishers. Some of the guidelines include “heroine must not be involved with anyone but the hero; couples must use condoms; heroine isn’t allowed to get pregnant without being married or engaged”, and I’m thinking, not even white women in novels have to adhere to such strict rules! I don’t know how many “Secret Baby” stories Harlequin publishes in a month. But if the black characters don’t, it’s suddenly “street lit”, which has its own problematic connotations about suspected quality of the writers and its readers (i.e., mostly and unfairly negative, even if I don’t read street lit myself). But this either/or dichotomy over what kind of stories black authors at mainstream publishers are allowed to tell are exactly why many of us aren’t accepting any old contract we get from them. That we’re putting our books out ourselves. Because after four hundred years of not being able to say a damn thing, like hell I’m not going to say what I want and how I want now. But the publishing industry/media at large continues to have its “Time to Kill” moments and put white faces on black stories or insert white people in stories not about them, as if “White folks, or it didn’t/doesn’t happen/matter!” is the appropriate business model in a world that is certainly not majority white and, in the case of the United States, in a country that is headed by a nonwhite family and will increasingly not be nonwhite in the next few decades. The default universal experience has not been, nor will it ever be, “white”. And, sure, people have the right to write whatever they want, which includes white people writing nonwhite characters (though there doesn’t seem to be the same regard for nonwhite authors writing white characters); but when those white authors get a larger share of the market telling my stories, I just have to echo Ms. Mahalia Jackson: “How come, mister, you think you can tell me about that old song, when it was born in my mouth?”

I can carry a tune. I can sing just fine.

Sam Cooke on Loop

These past two weeks have been and will be extremely...off-putting. I want to thank those of you who have sent me e-mails and messages to keep my chin up regarding last week's fiasco that is still ongoing (which was capped by yet two more rejection letters from agents. Oh, it was a good week last week, yes lol). Shame on me for not realizing I would have the kind of support I'd received, but that was a singular blessing during that entire ordeal. I don't believe in coincidences, despite my reluctance to go to a church every Sunday, but I'm constantly reminded there's someone bigger than I looking out for me, and I'm eternally grateful. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning; and while I don't particularly feel joy, I do feel more at peace than I had before, and I'm definitely grateful for that.

I had my last day at work on Friday, and my coworkers took me out to lunch and gave me a really nice card. I knew about the lunch; I'd even expected a card because I'd been at my job long enough to know that's just the type of great people I work with...but I was still touched by the nice things that were said about me and the genuine well-wishes bestowed upon me. I'm going to miss them, even if I won't exactly miss Boston per se. I've met and known wonderful people up here, and thank goodness for Facebook because we'll be able to keep in touch much better than we would probably without it. But it's going to be weird not getting up before the sun rises to go to work. It's going to be weird not to contend with ice and snow for the majority of the year (or how it seems to me anyway!). It's going to be weird to step out on faith and do what I need to do...what I've wanted to do since I was a junior in high school. Write. Scary, scary, scary. And maybe one of these manuscripts will be something an editor/agent will want to represent; but until then, I'll be self-publishing, which means no guarantees of success. SC has the 3rd-highest unemployment rate in the country, and I'm moving there with no "job" prospect in sight. And yet, I'm excited as well as trepidatious about the entire thing. This is the first time I'm going to do something for me, something that's not safe...something that has a real chance of blowing up in my face regardless of how much planning I've done to safeguard against it. I believe I am resilient enough to withstand whatever comes--even success. I hope lol.

I am procrastinating like crazy with packing. I have so much junk; I didn't know it could accumulate so quickly in three years (well, 7/8 years if you count college). I load 'em up and ship 'em out on Monday and Tuesday of next week, but it's hard to let go of routine; of that safety net. But I think I need to do this in order to go where I want to be. I'm scared...really, really scared. The first thing my uncle said when I told him I was doing this writing thing two years ago was how unlikely it would be for me to be successful. That wasn't the most encouraging thing I could've heard, especially when his (and, hell, the industry's) definition of successful is one I haven't met yet. According to agents and editors, I only have one publishing credit (if that, since it's with an e-publisher and it's a short story) and those three other novels and that one novella doesn't count. Except it does to me. That's blood, sweat, tears, sleepless nights, hungry mornings, me in those books. To say that doesn't count don't do much for the ego, I can assure you.

But I'm doing it anyway, because it counts to me. I'm choosing to look at the ending of my contract as a new beginning instead of dwelling on the horror of not having a "proper" job that pays benefits and a 401k (that...has gotten smaller, *eyes economy*). And I have to believe I'm smart enough to pull this off, and dare I say it, talented enough. And God willing, lucky and blessed enough. And I have to remind myself about all those e-mails and notes I got last week from people who are rooting for me, people who are farther along in their publishing journey who are cheering me on. It's very disconcerting to have people selling you to yourself, because I'm so used to focusing on what's not right with me that I disregard what is. You are often your worst critic, after all. I wonder if I had a book signing would people come--I'm so scared they wouldn't, you know? That's why I like those multiple author signings because maybe someone will mosey on over from a more established author and give me a shot.

I say this because I plan on releasing Trolling Nights in the next few weeks. The last time I had a book signing it was for Being Plumville, and considering that was my first book, I wasn't expecting many people to come outside of family and a few friends, but I am also...shy. But that's something I'll use these next few months to work on, trusting that people want to hear what I have to say, even if the majority of my experience thus far says otherwise. I don't get many reviews or responses (which goes back to why I was surprised by the e-mails from last week!) but that doesn't mean people don't know who I am or haven't read my work. But the bubble...it's easy to live in one in Boston. When I go home, it'll be slightly different.

Change..."Yes We Can!", eh?

Agent/Publisher Search

One of the hardest things for an "up-and-coming" author to do is choose which manuscript they think will be "the one" to get them at least a partial read, better a full request, and ultimately a contract. I have self-published four books and had an e-publisher for the fifth work, but even still, I know I have an uphill climb to go. I have five other manuscripts that I could shop (and even some people have said why not shop the novels you've already self-published?) but that's a tricky thing, isn't it? Nevertheless, I have NO idea which to shop. At least one that I'm considering has been to the second-ring of acceptance (the partial) but was ultimately passed over by an agent. One has a full request, which is a yay! , but I guess that means I can't submit that to an agent (although to be fair, that one is with a publisher also).Ironically, that manuscript has also been rejected by another publisher (but that publisher had also requested a full manuscript...hmm, I may have my answer!). Then again, this very same manuscript got rejected in full by another publisher (but they demand unsolicited queries to include the full MS, so it wasn't "requested" per se).

I then have two more manuscripts that I haven't really sent out yet, but I don't know how to label them. I think they both might be women's fiction, but I am not sure. The advice from authors is to just submit your strongest work, but the agents/editors want you to tell them what kind. One very nice lit agent said that my submission for RJC wasn't romance, but rather women's fiction. I can see what she meant by that, but for me, I am telling a love story. All of my stories are love stories...but they don't call IF BEALE STREET COULD TALK a romance even though Fonny is one of my favorite "heroes" ever. I don't know. It's like divining the future. The other complication is I'm actually doing very well with my self-publishing. . From all the articles I've read about "average" self-publishing sales, I'm doing twice as good--three times as good as those averages. Maybe the rules are different for AA writers? Word of mouth is huge, and I have a lovely crew of readers who do like to talk! And I don't know. I'm being pulled in several directions, but I don't want to "give up" and be content with the self-publishing. I'll just put my stuff out there and hope an agent likes it, I reckon. At the very least I know readers do!

Options

The owner of Red Rose Publishing told me first-week totals of The Coach's Counselor . . . they definitely overshot my expectations. So I thank you for buying the story, and tell others to get their copy. It's a dope story. Bernie is a dreamboat. I wanna be Eunice when I growed up. The RRP's owner loves the story. Can't get much better than that, peoples. Buy! Buy! Buy!

In less enthusiastic news, Sunday morning I awoke to a lovely (this is not sarcasm) rejection letter from an agent regarding Reconstructing Jada Channing. Was I disappointed? Absolutely, because my pitch to her had gone really well and she'd seemed exciting about it; and to know months later the project with her is a no-go does smart.

But then, I realized there is this lovely thing called self-publishing, and my straits weren't as dire as they'd seemed upon reading the e-mail. TPtB at HBF Publishers have it, and even if that doesn't work out, I can still put it out on my own. RJC doesn't have to languish until someone puts her seal of approval on it--I could publish the novel whenever I want, really. And considering it's my baby . . . I probably SHOULD publish it myself instead of risking a publisher/agent culling it out to "make it more marketable" (which sometimes, from what I've been told, could be a struggle between the author's original vision and the publisher's vision, and with this story in particular . . . there is a specific vision I have in mind for it). And if I really play my cards right, should I be picked up by an agent, and they do a reprint . . . the value of the first edition will be exceedingly high, right?

Or that's what I'd heard. Sotheby's, here I come!

(A girl can dream, can't she?)

It's a strategic game, this publishing business. I'm taking the bull by the horns, yes, but I also can't wait for the day until I can relinquish them and concentrate on the part of this business I want the most--the writing. Another idea has come and bit me, and one sentence on a Post It has grown into something that's taken me hours of research, so many "restarts" that I don't remember. And this isn't counting all the WiPs that are waiting for their day in the sun. I'm in that period of the job that sustains me is impeding on the career that feeds me. NOT a good feeling, because I actually like my "able-to-live" job, but this WRITING, people. This is what I'm supposed to do. And it's scary to be good at other things . . . have a greater chance at success at those others things . . . but those other things are in the way of THE THING.

Options. Sometimes I don't know if it's better to have too many or not enough.

RWA, Reviews, and Accolades

1.) I totally had a RWA Chapter conference 2 weeks before my RSJ experience. I TOTALLY had a worthwhile time there too. I met Suzanne Brockmann, and she's amazing. In fact, my chapter is pretty darn amazin (holla, New England). I had a great pitch with an agent there, and the other authors there were more than willing to chat with me and give me advice. I felt a little fish out of water because, unlike RSJ, I was practically integrating the place racially, and I was among the youngest as well. Not only that, outside of Ms. Brockmann, I was pretty much the only person there writing multicultural romance, emphasis on interracial. I'm glad I had that conference before RSJ, though. It forced me to say and claim what I wrote; to not be ashamed or timid about it. It also helped me not be intimidated, because my chapter is fully of Harlequin/Kensington/Dorchester/Avon/St. Martin's Press/Ellora's Cave, etc writers. And here I am--iUniverse and Lulu Press. But you know what? For many of them it took YEARS to get to those houses and they started later in life. I'm not in bad shape at all.

2.) So here's the thing. What I'm about to blog about are weeks old--some even months old. However, if you know (of) me, I have a tendency to hoard good news. I'm working on it. But I think if I put it in the universe, it'll be stripped away from me somehow. Don't ask me why, I think it's a self-defense mechanism. But the RSJ has helped me realize it's okay to share good news. Good people will genuinely be happy for you. It's not conceit, or selfishness, or bravado. If you're good, don't dim your light for anyone else.

3.) Ergo, without further ado . . .

Romance Junkies gives Being Plumville 4.5/5 stars:

The characters and plotline are fully developed and feel like the real world with real people. I made an emotional connection to Ben and Coralee and felt their love and pain in equal measure. The obstacles these two admirable individuals must overcome are realistically presented, making me feel like I was right there beside them all the way. Author Savannah Frierson captures the essence of Southern rules and bigotry with flair; she made me recall what it was like as a child growing up in the South. Full of tension and tenderness, racial tension and romance, author Savannah J. Frierson captures the essence of a turbulent time in our nation’s history. BEING PLUMVILLE is a novel I plan to purchase for several friends.

By Romance Junkies Reviewer: Scarlet

And thank you to everyone who voted in the 2007 SORMAG READERS' CHOICE AWARDS.

The Best Multi-Cultural Self Published Book Of The Year

Being Plumville

The Best Multi-Cultural Self Published Author Of The Year

TIE

Sylvia Hubbard

Ann Clay

Savannah Frierson


The Best Multi-Cultural New Self Published Author Of The Year

Savannah Frierson

I think that's it for now. Oh, and keep your fingers crossed. I'm sending off manuscripts to folks this week. Also, thanks for your patience with Vietnam Story. It's not languishing, I promise.

Romance Slam Jam and Accomplishing Goals

The Romance Slam Jam in Chicago this year was definitely worth my while, and the best thing was it was worth my while both as a reader and as a writer. I can now put faces to the names of all those books I have stacked in my apartment, and consequently, those who have bought my books now can put my face along with the name on that cover and spine as well. It was very surreal, very nerve-wracking, very humbling, and very exciting all at the same time. I had a Readers Session with Beverly Jenkins and Nathasha Brooks-Harris. Both of these women have multiple books out with publishers, and Miss Beverly especially is one of the most beloved authors at this conference. And there's lil' ole me, with her self-published debut book with nowhere near the sales of either of the other women. Yet Miss Beverly told the attendees who'd come to the session to "Be nice to the baby", and they were. They were actually interested in what I had to say, in what I'd written, in what I'd write. Many of these women were older; all of them were black. I write interracial romances where the majority of the books being celebrated and written are monoracial Black romances. And yet, many women approached me and said, "I've never read interracial before, but now I'll buy your book." Goal accomplished. The fact that Being Plumville is set in a racially strife era in our country (then again, when hasn't there been racial strife in the US?), and these women are willing to give it a chance really meant a lot. I had so many wonderful conversations with established and aspiring authors, and I learned so much.

I had agent and editor pitches and both went so well that even if ultimately the project doesn't work out, I still think I have succeeded. I wouldn't hesitate submitting another project to them, and hearing other established and beloved authors talk about their struggles to get published encouraged me not to give up. In fact, a publisher that had rejected my work before said for me to submit again, and it was because of that one-on-one contact, I think, is what enabled me to get that request.

I didn't win the Emma Award for Debut Author of the year, nor did I win the Aspiring Author contest. I couldn't even be disappointed. By the time for the awards ceremony, I'd gained so much more than expected, that those wins would've been icing on the cake. Congrats to Isis who did win the Aspiring Author contest and to LaConnie Taylor-Jones who won for the Debut Author. Seriously, just being nominated, being the only self-published author on the list, was plenty validation.

It's been a week since the conference. A week since I sat on that Readers Session panel; a week since I've met some of the most phenomenal people I've ever met. A week since meeting people who've bought my books and told me how much they appreciated it. A week since just soaking up everything I could from people who've been in my shoes, and counseling people who aspire to just finish a novel. I've made contacts, even friends, mentors. This was definitely worth the trip, and I genuinely hope to be a part of it next year.

I Need to Know

What is it about my writing that makes people not want to either represent me or publish me? I've just gotten rejected by two agents and and a publisher for The Beauty Within and Trust Fall respectively. I'm very confused. I know I write IR, which already makes folks nervous, but other than that, I'm genuinely at a loss. Are my stories not fluffy enough? But then there's AJ's Serendipity, and the reviews on Amazon haven't been as positive as they were for Being Plumville, which I'm okay with, but I'm baffled nonetheless. I don't know even if I DID know what was wrong if anything about my writing will change, mainly because I write what the characters tell me to write lol. However, I know publishing is a business, and I would like to bet published on someone else's coin, so I need to know exactly what that golden market is in the eyes of agents/publishers. I'll have to say, I'm further confused because the majority of the people who have read my books are, gratefully, appreciative of my work and want to know when the next book is coming out *waves at the Emma Award nomination*! It's hard to tell them that I don't know, and harder still to explain I really have no control over the matter. The audience I have loves my stuff; the gatekeepers of the industry are (mostly) polite when they close the gates in my face. And then there are those other authors who are published, and I think that I, at the very least, have the same amount of talent as they do. That's the one bad thing about rejections other than the rejection itself--oftentimes it doesn't tell you why--just that it's not fit for publication/representation. That does not help me get better or tweak my product so that it will be. And when someone asks you for the full manuscript and then tells you thanks but no thanks is just really, really hard.

At some point, you just really, really want an answer to go your way. And yes, I'm speaking more than just publishing right now. It's just been an '08 full of "No" both personally and professionally. In my case, writing is both personal and professional, and I'm sure it's like that for other authors as well. But for me, I started writing to deal with some things, and I'm still dealing, but to have my writing rejected and me myself rejected, it's like a double-whammy and I'm still trying to learn how to make sure I bounce back up from each slap down, even if it takes longer to do so. I just need to make sure I get up. And now poor Vietnam Story is starting to languish because I'm not getting up fast enough, and the readers who are kind enough to stick with me on the google group--I could call them out by name lol--I appreciate the patience. It really only takes one really nice e-mail to keep you above the waterline sometimes.

The scary thing is, I have no idea what else I can do. I know this is a hard industry, and very few people make it, but I know of nothing else I can do. Well, editing, but that doesn't fill me with the same drive and passion as writing. I wake up and I think about it, and I go to bed and I think about it. I proofread and I see stories in some of the projects I proof *looks at Vietnam Story* and my office is full of former publishers, screenwriters, nonfiction writers, etc. It's an amazing place, but if I could be at home writing and getting paid for it, that would be fantastic.

This is a dump of a post, I know. I'm trying not to slip into that space of no writing, and it's hard, so I guess it's better to get it out here instead of to let it fester. I know I'm a good writer. I just wish I knew how to convince other people I am, too! lol

I'm Having a Mild Sally Field Moment Here . . .

I’ve been nominated for an Emma Award for Debut Author of the Year for Being Plumville. What that means is, there were enough Romance Slam Jam conference attendees who’d heard of my book, read it, and enjoyed it, to nominate me as one of five brand-new authors. What’s even more trippy is that I’m the only self-published author on that entire list, and my name is on the same page as Brenda Jackson and Beverly Jenkins. This is the premier award in Black Romance—think the NAACP Image Awards v. Oscars/Emmys/Golden Globes, but for books—and I really had no idea just HOW much of a big deal it was until I saw my name on that list.. I found out about the nomination on Wednesday, but I’ve been sitting on it and trying to process it . . . I still haven’t quite, actually. I mean, yeah, I nominated myself, but I thought I was the only one, or maybe some of the other people I knew had nominated me, too, and that’s only about 12 people at the most. But . . . heh. I had no idea. You really can knock me over with a feather, I’m so surprised. And humbled, and yes, excited. I could win. If the four judges like my book, I could win. I could beat out all of these Leisure Books and Kimani Romances and Genesis Press and Parker Publishing people—many of whom have rejected me (in fact, an agent for one of the authors in my category rejected Being Plumville. Heh.) and make the thousands of dollars I’ve poured into publishing my book worthwhile. But on the other hand, I fully believe it when people say “It’s an honor to be nominated”, because I genuinely feel that way. I also think I’m the youngest person on that list, too. I have no agent, I have no publishing home, but, yo, I’m on that list. Not too shabby, I don’t think.

Meh

I didn't get chosen to continue to the second round of the Gather.com contest and I've gotten another rejection for RJC. Yes, it smarts, but onward. I had one agent months ago say she loved RJC, but I haven't heard from her since. I'm going to start scoping out more possibilities and start again. Maybe I should start sending out others, for works that aren't done? I don't know.

Rejection's the name of the game, folks. Some days it's easier to take than others.rjc

I am . . . (or what I discovered in Maui)

A literary fiction writer with an emphasis on romance, according to Manus & Associates, anyway.

Romance: Romance is unabashed escapist fiction, following the love story of a (usually female) protagonist, and intended to sweep women readers away from their day-to-day
problems. The Romance Writer's Association defines its genre simply as "a love story with an optimistic and emotionally satisfying ending." However, also key to Romance novels is an absence of moral ambiguity. Courage saves the day, justice triumphs, good defeats evil, and it is always readily apparent who and what is good and who and what is evil. Almost uniformly, Romance involves the "taming" or "civilization" of a wild man by a woman. Sub-plots and minor characters are kept to a minimum; these are not multi-layered works. Romance readers are seeking to relax and enjoy. Romances should be easy to read, but should strike strong emotional chords. Marriage is almost without exception the desired goal of a Romance plot.

Literary: Literary is, of course, a qualitative term, arrived at not by formula or definition but by aesthetic judgment. But, in general, a literary novel tends to be much more character driven than a commercial novel. But just what qualifies a book as literary is difficult to identify, and open to debate even among well established literary writers. Some cite moral ambiguity, an effort to grapple with dark and light and to see a situation in its full complexity, as a key characteristic. Others might point to layers of meaning, or resonance, of the careful use of language itself. Many speak of the "truth" of a novel, of an ability to address the human condition. Still others might stress universality. A dozen other qualities of "literature" might be discussed, but with most of them, whether a book possesses it and in what degree can never be an objective matter.

That fits me, right? The type of work I do? I don't think my romance is escapist, although there is much romance and love an intimacy. I don't tend to, or like, for that matter, escaping from real-world problems. It grabs me more when the real world tries to impede, but the characters, somehow, someway, make it through those problems to their "happily ever after", even if that "ever after" is peppered with more trials and dark times. Those moments do not outweigh, strip, or even diminish that happy ever after. How else can people know they are happy without the sad times to highlight and underscore it? The hope is the happy days are far more numerous than the sad, and that is the arc I want the characters to have; the hope and see that hope come into fruition, or at least the beginning of it.

At the Maui Writers Conference, I had the ability to talk with agents, editors, other fellow writers on the continuum of the writing enterprise. There were screenwriters, LGBT writers, Inspiration writers, Horror writers, Nonfiction writers, Romance writers, and me. LOL. I didn't know what kind of writing I did, although I knew I wasn't fitting as neatly into romance as I apparently I should've been. Few of my "favorite" books were written by romance writers. To Kill a Mockingbird certainly isn't; Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry isn't, but there is love in those stories, hope. They spoke to me because they moved beyond romantic love, they wrestled with the humanity of things, the good and bad, but somehow, they managed to end on that bend of hope. When I spoke to the agents, editors, and fellow writers about my writing, I always said "I THOUGHT I was a romance writer, but . . ." They helped me work through my confusion, the murky area of why couldn't I place myself in one genre or another. One agent told me to put myself in the broadest genre possible and let the publishing houses figure out the rest, and though romance is pretty broad, it's not broad enough.
Or at least not yet.

Another thing agents and editors said was writers should think of themselves as a brand. Shoppers tend to buy by brand, or buy products that complement or are comparable to each other. A big thing is P-n-Ls (Profit and Loss reports). A house isn't going to buy a book unless they think it will sell, and the best indicator of that is when an author writes a book of a similar brand to another author. In romance, for example, Susan Edwards and Cassie Edwards are comparable brands because they both write historical romances with mainly Indian men/White women as the theme. For me, that is hard, because I don't know of many writers who do similar things as I do. And when you are a writer who has a hard time finding comparable authors, it makes you that much more of a risk to an agent or a house. They want originality, but not TOO much originality. Understandable because it's a business. Frustrating as hell because I'm a writer.

True, there are many who write IR fiction, but there is the "don't mention race" school and the "only mention race" school. There is the "old school" IR and the "new school" IR. There's paranormal IR and very few historical IR. It's all over the place. With my writing, I try to pull from all the schools into one. There is something I like about each school, but as a reader, I want all (or as many of) those YES! buttons pushed, not just some of them. The button that pushes me the most, however, is style and how an author puts words together to make my reaction visceral, whether it's a good/pleasant reaction or not. If I don't, I come away with, "it's all right . . .". I don't like that feeling, and I try not to leave my readers with that feeling. I'm well aware some of my stories will be more successful at not leaving that feeling than others, and I have MUCH more to learn, but that's my goal.

Anyway, Maui is gorgeous. The hotel was beautiful, Wailea Marriot Resort and Spa. It was a very, super-quick weekend, but I learned much about myself and met some wonderful people and got great advice. God willing, I'd go again. This conference was just what I needed to get me excited about writing again, especially since I have more of an understanding of what kind of writer I am.

Quagmire

That's been my life for the past week, so I apologize for dropping off the face of the proverbial earth. Yes, this week was sent Priority mail from hell, complete with getting more rejections for Manna Tree and RJC than I ever thought possible, so I'm going to need a weekend to recover. All e-mails and such will be answered, now that I have my computer back *snuggles*, and maybe, just maybe, I'll gathered the tatters of my imagination and creativity and write something worthy of posting.

Don't hold breaths, though.

Two bright spots--saw a dear friend of mine at the bus stop yesterday. She's in town for a year, yay! That makes me happy. Also, RAWSISTAZ gave Being Plumville a five-star review on Amazon. I'm not upset at that, either :).

Anyway, I hope everyone's week has been way better than mine.

What kind of writer am I?

Or more specifically, if you had to categorize my writing, where would you put it? There's no wrong answer per se, although if you say "horror" I think I'd cry a little lol. As I start submitting manuscripts to agents, etc, I find it is difficult to categorize some of my work. Gym Story, I think is obviously a romance, but is RJC? It's a little frustrating, because I just write the stories and worry about the other things such as genre later, if at all, but as I realize agents/editors/publishers like categories, it makes someone like me a little more challenging I suppose. Anyway, I'm in a reflective mood. I hope everyone is having a great weekend, and AJ's Serendipity will be up tomorrow as usual.

Overwhelmed (In a Good Way)

First, Happy Belated Birthday to my sister who turned twenty yesterday *dies*. I can't believe it! When did that happen? Oh well, Here's to at least 80 more years!

*cheers*

Also, last week was a very weird week, starting with the "weird" rejection letter to me being just mentally and spiritually exhausted with the whole writing thing. I literally glared at my WiPs for a minute, wondering if they'll ever get finished, will they ever see the light of day once they are *eyes Manna Tree*, did I bite off more than I can chew *eyes Vietnam Story*, will some other off-based agent think my writing "isn't strong enough" and "redundant" *rolls eyes*. I talked with my father on Friday, and he told me something that I had never thought of before he said it--many times it's really not about talent who gets published. It has less to do with you and more to do with the flaws of the industry. And I agreed, and not because my ego needed stroking, but because I talk with other authors who, in my humble and not-so-humble opinion should've been snapped up and published last year. And while e-book publishers are wonderful because they offer you an audience, I defy anyone to say the ultimate goal of an author isn't to make it to NYC and end up on the Bestsellers' List and on Oprah and The Today Show and etc, etc, etc. In other words, maximum audience. These authors who I think of . . . people STARVE for their type of writing, and if agents are so stupid/unwilling to take a risk on them (even if it's not a risk . . . unless the risk is selling too damn many books/books that expand the scope of who a black woman is supposed to be, how a black woman is supposed to be loved, and who is supposed to love her and vice versa), then they DESERVE to miss the boat. If agents and publishers are more willing to give advances to and publish plagiarists than people with real, genuine, authentic talent, then poo on them! I know there are agents, however who are willing to take that risk, however. That is the only reason I and the others of whom I speak haven't given up yet. You find the books, as few and far between they seem to be now, that offer something new. Those books keep hope alive, even if that flame flickers dangerously at best sometimes.

And then, others have been so encouraging to me, keeping me in their thoughts, calling me out on certain message boards :-p, join my group, tell me how excited they are for my book to come out, talk with me into the wee hours in the morning, and make me not care I have to be up in three hours to go to work, texting me because I'd accidentally blocked them on IM while I had explained away her absence by thinking she'd finally gotten the life we had promised ourselves we're gonna get one day lol. Those who just keep me sane and reassure me that it was okay for me to put myself out there and go for it. I'll admit. I'm terrified. I'm terrified my skin isn't thick enough to handle the negativity. I'm terrified that I may exceed my very modest expectations and then not know how to handle it. I'm terrified of talking about my book to strangers and sounding like an idiot. I'm terrified of being asked questions about my writing to which I won't know the answer. Someone told me I'm a much better writer than speaker. Golly. Not something you want to hear, you know, if you have to go and do promotions and sell your book to random people. For so long, my writing has been just a private part of me, and in my tiny nook in the universe, I can talk to folks who know me as a writer and understand, or at least don't hold it against me if they don't. This must be how our parents felt when they watched us in their rearview mirrors as they left us behind on college campuses, or when they let us go to the head of the alter where some man would now be taking care of their baby girl, or when their baby has a baby of their own. Being Plumville is my baby, regardless if it's "the middle child" of sorts (RJC is my first and foremost baby, my thesis, the one that started it all, really). So the obvious question is why start off with Being Plumville? Because I finished it first lol. That's really why. I'm proud of it. I received just great feedback on it (special shout out to mirevas). I believe in it. And it was my original fiction debut in the Internet world, so I figure, why not a debut on a bigger scale?

Anyway, this is a long-winded post to tell folks "thank you". I'd been pleasantly surprised by the encouragement I'd received this past weekend especially. I didn't realize . . . yeah. I just didn't realize that many folks were eager for my writing or read this blog or the group. It's . . . weird . . . but I'm thankful. I guess, there are so many undiscovered authors out there who I think are just amazing and I'm trying to catch up with them. It's not envy, just an appreciation for their art and craft and how they apply it. For people, apparently, to think the same way of my writing is overwhelming. But in a good way.

RJC Recjection #Whatever

Normally, I don't post the text of the rejection letters I receive, but this one struck me for a number of reasons.

~~~~~~~~

Dear Savannah:

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to review a portion of your manuscript, Reconstructing Jada Channing. I apologize for the long delay, but I’ve been simply overwhelmed with submissions all year. After careful consideration, I don’t feel this is a project I can take on at this time.

As I conduct a legal practice in addition to my work as an agent, I am forced to be very selective in both the number and kinds of literary projects that I take on to represent. Although I am eagerly looking for quality commercial fiction, I ultimately concluded that your writing was not strong enough to make this a clearly marketable project. The beginning is slow and the references to the cultural race ethnic gap became redundant. However, you should certainly not interpret my decision as the final negative assessment of your manuscript. As you know, this is a most subjective business and most agents, I believe, take on only those projects that they personally feel strongly about and most confident of selling. Other agents may well assess your manuscript differently.

[Deleted Paragraph to Protect Name of Agency]

I wish you the best in finding strong representation for your work, and thank you again for giving me the opportunity to consider this project.

~~~~~~~~

My immediate thought was, "If she thought it was redundant in this one, she would've hated Being Plumville." I swear to my mama, that was my first thought. My second thought was redundant? Where? Granted, in the first chapter I can see how one would think that, but given Jada had JUST done something she'd been told ALL HER LIFE not to do, I would think you'd have the act and subsequent repercussions of it on loop, no? I actually scanned the first three chapters, and after the first one, there really isn't anything "redundant" about the racial/cultural/ethnic gap other than IT EXISTS and it is something the characters have to mitigate as they move along in the story. I would like to think it wasn't sloppily thrown in there, or that there were outside forces other than those "pesky" gaps, but seriously, that is life, and more importantly, the characters' life. If an agent can't handle that, then I'd rather him/her not represent my book, either.

My third thought was, "what does 'clearly marketable' mean?" To which the follow-up to that was, "which market is she talking about?" And then we go into the whole "black authors pigeon-holed" arena and my head starts to hurt.

Finally, I was wounded. Not gonna lie. It's a major blow to my ego, especially when my readers for the thesis at university had given it strong comments. Now, I don't expect for everyone to like my writing or my stories, but for her to say my writing wasn't strong enough . . . I'm just going to have to respectfully disagree. Do I think I'm the best writer out there? No. But I've seen books published that make me scratch my head, and I think my work can AT LEAST hold up to those.

This rejection makes me even more confident I did the right thing with Being Plumville in self-publishing that. If people can't handle RJC, then Being Plumville was really a lost cause. And what about my so very neglected The Blueprint, which is the prequel to RJC? I just . . . I don't know. I'm really at a loss. What does this mean for a black writer looking for an agent, especially for IR, or even novels that mention race in a real and honest way in 2007 and not in 1907 or some earlier time when it's more palatable. Yes, the agent to whom I submitted the story was white, but I have discussions with fellow black authors who don't like race-driven romances either. Yes, race is a factor in RJC, but it isn't THE factor, at least I don't think it is. Maybe I'm too close to it, and this is my baby. Blood, sweat, tears, mini-breakdowns, stress . . . that's all in this novel, and I'm proud of the final product. Even as I'm re-reading it yet again to proof it yet again, I just think, for me, this would be something I would buy had someone else written it.

Or maybe, the agents are on to something and I just don't want to admit it to myself. After all, I'm the newbie here. They have a better feel for the market than I do (oh, we go back to that whole "who is the market for black folk" thing). Mainstream=white, we all know that. But I don't see why mainstream wouldn't want to read the story. The professors who read my thesis was a white man and a Japanese woman, and they liked it. So . . .

"Not strong enough" that one really pisses me off. Yeah, dammit, I'm going to toot my own horn and say my writing is strong enough! Can it be stronger? Of course, but I don't think it's weak. And trust, I have folk who will GLADLY tell me I suck on the regular. And, "as the final negative assessment of your manuscript"? Does she plan on me getting more negative feedback? I mean, I'm sure I will, that left a sour taste in my mouth, even with the "disclaimer" that others may see differently.

So far they haven't. Boo to them.




I don't know. I'm upset, but more, I guess, because it seems there is little willingness to take on projects that make people uncomfortable. Both RJC and BP are not comfortable novels, and perhaps my problem is I'm trying to pub them as romances and they just aren't. Maybe they're just novels that have a love story, but how does one market that?

Eh, well, at least I finally got an answer. And she did say more about why she wasn't accepting my work than the standard rejection form, so I'm grateful for that. And she is one in an ever-growing list of agents who say "thanks, but no thanks" but I'm waiting for that agent who says, "Eh. Why not? Let's give it a go." I'm standing by my personal promise NOT to self-publish this one. Even if it takes thirty years, I'm going to try to go the traditional route with this one.

*claps hands* Onto the next would-be agent!

RJC Rejection Part Multiple

So RJC has been rejected by another lit agent. I'm not too broken up about it, especially since the rejection was very nice and encouraging. The agent said she thought I had a great story, but she wasn't able to relate to the characters enough to do the book justice. I can totally understand and respect that. Since she has to be my book's champion, she better be able to relate to something in order to sell it to publishers. If she can't do it, then I'm not going to fault her on that. It's the best deal for both of us. At least she said it was a great (not good, great!) story, so maybe when it gets published she'll buy a copy!

I'm still waiting on two other lit agents to let me know what they think. Hopefully there's a yes in there somewhere!